Doubt: God’s invitation to go deeper in faith
(04-11-2010)
When we meet Doubting Thomas year after year in the gospels, there is some sense of hope in ourselves because of his doubt. Thomas could not believe what the other disciples had said about Jesus rising from the dead because he didn’t trust them. But Jesus appeared again, not just for Thomas’ sake, but for our sake, yours and mine as well. He looked at Thomas and said, “OK, Thomas, you believe because you have seen,” but then Jesus looks at us, people of every age all over the world, down through the millennia, who were not in that Upper Room, and says, “Blessed are those who have not seen yet believe.”
This does not mean that we don’t have many times that we have doubts in our faith. That is part of our human condition. We will never have full knowledge until we see God in heaven. Part of us wants to believe, but part of us questions our belief. The man in the Gospel of Luke put it so well. His son was suffering from epilepsy. He said to Jesus, “Can you help him?” Jesus said, “I can if you believe.” The man responded, ‘I do believe, help my unbelief.” And aren’t we similar: “We do believe Lord, BUT help are unbelief.” It’s like that old adage, half of winning is showing up. When we show up for Mass, there are those who cannot, most often we demonstrating faith or at the very least, a desire to have more faith!
Faith seeks understanding—it is a part of how God made us. For example, those of us, who were confirmed, like the 18 persons last weekend at our Easter Vigil and the Confirmandi in a few weeks when our Bishop comes, receive various gifts of the Holy Spirit. One of these is called the gift of understanding. Through the gift of understanding the Holy Spirit helps us to accept the mysteries of the faith. The concept of understanding here is that we can be given truths greater than our human capacity to comprehend. Huh you say, well, God can and does share God’s mystery with us, a mystery beyond the abilities of our rational powers to attain. When doubts come into our lives, we need to call out to the Holy Spirit to strengthen the gift of understanding we received at our Confirmation. Bless our unbelief.
Other times people have doubts in their faith because their knowledge of the faith has not matured. While we should be childlike and accepting the Lord, but not be childish—or what I describe as being developmentally arrested in 8th grade religion. If our knowledge of the faith is still at the level it was when we received our First Communion or our Confirmation, then we have to confront life with a child’s or an early teen’s knowledge of God’s message.
However, what makes us different as Catholic Christians is the Sacramental life; it can also arrest our growth by virtue of our sacramental process. We go through stages of being educated in order to receive certain sacraments. Ironically, most people stop learning more about God, faith, our rich religion at the attainment of a sacrament. Get the preparation and requirements out of the way, take a break until the next sacrament is dangled before us (or our children) then go for that, take a break, and so on. Yet we push our children into CCD classes, or Catholic School, we seek knowledge of the world and travel, visit museums, read newspapers, Discovery Channel, History Channel, movies, documentaries, PBS, go out of our way to sit in a freezing stadium to watch a game, but what do we do to learn more about God as adults?
No wonder we have doubts in faith when the rest of our mind develops but our knowledge of the faith and our beautiful religion is still that of a child. We need to spend a little time every day reading Scripture, learning about the faith, attending scripture classes, retreats, adult education classes by Br. Richard at our church, RCIA classes; use of the CD’s from Lighthouse Ministry, Generations of Faith, and so many other opportunities of letting God bring us to a deeper knowledge of his presence.
Sometimes we are seeking answers because we have doubts in our faith—this is good. God is giving us a desire to go deeper beyond the surface of routine prayers and recitations—to seek truth and questioning that which was given to us by others. A teenager who questions the faith is often not rebelling from the faith. He or she is seeking a deeper understanding of the faith. I would not be a priest today if I did not challenge my religion and its teachings, if I merely recited, spouted and mouthed what I was taught in preparation for the sacraments of initiation. I left the Pre-Vatican II Church because I didn’t feel spiritually fed and nourished. Yet I wanted to know God, be intimate with God, and experience my faith, not only my religion. It took a Vatican II Church that opened the doors to question, seek understanding, and not merely recite, to help bring me home again.
Sometimes faith doubts come about when a crisis occurs in our lives, and along with billions down through millennia we question where is God, how could a loving God allow this and we sink. There are times when it can be easier to be faithful—all is going well in life—status quo can be comfortable. We surrender to what seems to be the normal pattern in life and call it “just a part of life” at those times when we get hospitalized for an ailment or our knees wear-out, or our elderly parents are ailing with ailments that call for us to extend more help…just life happening.
Change happens when tragedy strikes when a child is lost in a still birth, or at an early age, or marriage fails, a spouse dies, and faith is slipping away into the depths of sorrow. Such times and life experiences can bring about not only doubts but also anger with God. “I’ve lived a good life, been going to church, raised my kids to be good, worked hard, and now this!” God can take our anger! In fact, arguing or yelling at God can help deepen our faith! For I believe it is just such intimacy that God calls us to, deeper loving relationships that include all the human dynamics and emotions. Anger and doubt can lead to a deeper faith. Just look at so many of our great saints who had both!
Look at the lives of our saintly apostles, on whom we to teach us about God. It was easy for them to believe in Jesus as they heard his message of hope, saw his healing of the throngs, and witnessed firsthand the many miracles. And then…Good Friday happens! Jesus is killed. Fear and doubt accompanied by the dread of association with the criminal Jesus—Peter denies, most flee, why would you stay and risk being killed too!
Our wonderful apostle Thomas suffered doubt because he saw the crucifixion. Faith ebbed out of Thomas. It happens to us often as a part of the human condition. Doubting is part of being human. However, seeking understanding is what can bring peace to our doubt—faith in crisis. We have so many ways to grow in the wisdom of God even without hearing Christ say to us “Put your hands in my hands and in my side.” We trust in God, and without seeing we believe.
Lord, help those parts of us, each of us, that do not believe that we may witness you better.
Grow in faith—seek understanding, Fr. Gordon
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